The Soil15 February 2011 at 6:29pmPosts: 1894 (0 today)Status: offline
Hello all you lunies. I decided to start a new thread, since I think about so many things and a lot of questions come up. About life in other countries, society and languages amongst other things. If nobody but me needs this thread, fine. But I will post questions every now and then, if I don't forget them. :-]
But I have one right now. It's about the US.
Why do so many people in the US have such a big problem with allowing their kids to have tattoos or body piercings? I even heard of people rejecting au pair girls only because they had tattoos. I find this a very strange attitude. Can anybody explain this?
Progressive jen15 February 2011 at 6:37pmPosts: 5472 (0 today)Status: offline
Maybe it depends on where you live. In Colorado I haven't seen this type of discrimination, in fact it seems like every young person I meet has some sort of body art and I haven't heard about any problems.
The US is such a big country that I doubt this is a huge problem. I think just like anywhere there are pockets of people who have sticks up their asses
Rev Bob15 February 2011 at 8:09pmPosts: 2229 (0 today)Status: offline
Young people will always assert their independence and identity of self by doing what is considered odd by the older generation. . . just like all the other kids.
And just like we did (I did) when we (I) were (was) young. :-]
I have earrings; I have ink. I wear most jewelry than most men I've met - and a good many women. It started 30+ years ago and I'm not done yet. Well, I don't think so, anyway. I don't think I'll be piercing anything else anytime soon, though. I prefer my Prince Albert IN my pipe, not THROUGH my pipe. :-]
Because of it, I have a fairly neutral opinion - to me, it's simply a matter of degree. I may not understand why some young person has Maasai-sized holes in their lobes - and I may think it's stupid, but I simply have smaller holes in my lobes. And you can't see my ink on most days - but then again, I got it for me, not the general public. In reality, I'm not allowed to point fingers.
When I got my first earring, my Dad freaked out. "What about when you eventually take it out?!" (he was still hoping, I guess). When I told him that had our souls been switched he'd be doing the same dumb things I was doing - just as I would have done the same dumb things he did as a young man, he calmed down.
Deep down, I think he knew I was right.
Clothing, hairstyles, piercings, ink, music, language. . . it's all the same. Some societies may have a wider spectrum of acceptance - sadly, I'm sure the US is on the narrow minded end of things. Like generations before and those to come, young people will collectively rebel in an effort to create an individual identity for themselves.
And I'm ok with that. And when I'm not, I try real hard to keep my mind open & not have a stick up my ass.
But. . . to that kid with the Maasai-sized lobes?. . .
Call me in about 30 years and tell me how you feel about the decision. :-]
Rev Bob15 February 2011 at 8:11pmPosts: 2229 (0 today)Status: offline
Um. . . that should be "I wear MORE jewelry than most men I've met"
Stupid non-edit feature. :-]
Ela15 February 2011 at 8:30pmPosts: 1334 (0 today)Status: offline
I agree with Bob. I've never had piercings, not even my ears. No tattoos either, but I've had some wild hair styles in my past. Including a mohawk, and just about every color in the rainbow! While I was going through my wild hair stage, I had trouble getting jobs. I got fired from one job because of my hair. I was hired to clean houses while the owners were at work, but one day one of the owners came home while I was cleaning, and I was fired later that day. I was told that that person was afraid of me. I had been cleaning that same home all summer, and would have kept my job, if that woman hadn't stopped home unexpectedly, and without knowing me at all, judged me by my hair color/style. I was different looking than the norm, and that scared some people. While going through my wild hair styles in college, strangers would grab their kids to keep them from getting near me, whisper and point, and sometimes look scared. I think some parents want to shelter their children from being exposed to certain things, and might be hesitant to hire an au pair, if they thought that their kids might get the opinion that it's acceptable to have tattoos, or piercings, etc.In general I think that the US is more conservative about many things. I think most of it is driven by fear.
Pat Parker15 February 2011 at 8:44pmPosts: 2683 (0 today)Status: offline
As mentioned above by both Prog Jen and Rev Bob, I think that it's safe to say that there will always be people (in any country/culture) that like/dislike body piercings, tattoos, etc.
I would be interested in the reason behind your question. Is it based on your own personal experience, or have you seen/read about such taboos that make you think that "so many people in the US" feel this way?
As Prog Jen said, the USA is such a big country, it's probably not as big of a problem as it might appear to you.
In any case, my own personal opinion (one which only counts for me :-]) is that I personally do not mind body piercings and/or tatoos - I don't care if a person chooses to ink their entire body and subsequently pierce it in so many places that he/she would resemble swiss cheese. I have many, many friends who have beautiful tatoos (and some very good friends who earn their living this way); I have just as many friends who have body piercings (some in places I have not ever seen and don't have the urge to do so). As much as I might admire some of the beautiful art work on a tatoo, I do not have any, have no desire whatsoever to get one simply because I don't want to feel the pain of it and there is nothing, absolutely nothing in this world that I like enough to have permanently marked into my body - again, this is just my own personal feelings on it.
As for body piercings - I have to agree with Rev Bob on this one, as well. I have my ears pierced (had a few in each lobe at one time, but now am only left with one), but outside of that, I am not at all attracted to the art of body piercing in other places. I have a problem looking at those big gaping holes in people's body parts - just sorta creeps me out, I guess. My reason, again, is that I just don't want to feel the pain that goes along with it.
Now, as I've gotten older (and perhaps a bit wiser ), I've also not been tempted to get tattoos and/or body piercings because of the risks for infections, etc. As a professional nurse, it is a fact that our skin is the #1 barrier to infection - it's sole purpose is to protect our bodies. Any time that the skin is not intact, there is a risk for infection - with any scratch, paper cut, incision, piercing, we run the risk of getting an infection. So, for me nowadays, I always admit that I don't want to get a tatoo or body piercing because I'm afraid of the pain and I'm also afraid of the risk for infection.
As for a person's appearance and how other people perceive them (those with and without sticks up their asses) - well, I think that is something that is universal - there will always be people who judge others by their outward appearance - tattoos, body piercings, obese (like me), black, yellow, red, white, etc. It's sad, but true. Hopefully there will be a day when it doesn't exist, but until then, it is what it is.
Thanks for this thread. I hope to continue reading it and any other questions you can think of.
Tattoos look filthy, and piercing just plain disgusting - but it's just my opinion, and I would not discriminate people bearing them in any way.
Here in Italy, though, going to a job interview showing piercing or tattoos it's highly discouraged (and IMO rightly so).
The Soil19 February 2011 at 8:36pmPosts: 1894 (0 today)Status: offline
Wow, I don't think I ever had so much reaction on any of my threads ever since I joined the forum two years ago.
Bob, very interesting and entertaining read. You're right about the rebelling thing. And I don't understand people wanting Maasai-sized lobes either. But if they like it, I'd be the last to critisize them. I myself wouldn't want any tattos or anything that cannot be removed either, like Pat.
And Pat, I totally understand your worries about the risks of infection. I am like that myself and I AM NOT a nurse. If I was I would probably go nuts, knowing everything about infections and stuff. Though I haven't been like that earlier in my life. I have pierced earlobes, but that isn't really unusual. I once had a pierced lower lip, but took that out years ago. And you cannot even really see the hole. Good.
Ela, I'm sorry about your experiences. And all this because of your hair-styles? Wow. I'm speechless. And angry when I think about it.And I really don't understand why anybody would be SCARED of hair.
Pat and Jen, I've heard about this from several friends and from somebody who was once a teacher of mine. She was a rejected au pair girl, because of her tatoos. And another thing is, I heard this on countless American tv shows and movies, depicted as if it was the absolutely worst thing a kid could do to their parents (apart from drinking or having sex, but that's a different topic). Anyways, while I KNOW that tv shows and movies are not a realistic or accurate representation of a society, I wonder why this is being brought up so often if it is no big deal and of no concern to the everyman. I admit that I myself have never been to the US. And maybe it was a little bit of prejudice, as I do not judge from my own experience.
Ela and Pat sadly you are both right about the tolerance.
Okay, Caste. That's your opinion, I'll respect that. I wouldn't want a tattoo on my body either. But why you find people with tattoos disgusting is beyond me. I don't think diversity is a bad thing.
I've never been to Italy, but from what I read and hear there seems to be such a strange ambivalence there. On the one side it's a very catholic country, on the other side they have a guy like Berlusconi as a president, who is far from prude. (to say the least) :-] Btw, what do you think about him? I wonder if he'll end up in jail now.
Well, about job interviews, actually I hate that you have to hide everything you really are in job interviews. And even when you apply for a job you have to claim things about yourself that you know are not really true, things like 'always on time' and 'totally competent in abulutley everything', or whatever. I hate that if you want a job you basically have to LIE and act like you're a robot, that works like a machine and doesn't have an opinion or doesn't oppose to anything. But that's just MY opinion. Doesn't exactly have to do with my first topic, but never mind.
Thanks all for your replies.
Mr_Clueless19 February 2011 at 9:57pmPosts: 2013 (0 today)Status: offline
In fact, I think your opinion has a lot to do with the topic.
Why would a boss want a person with own personality and opinion that will probably question her/his authority and orders as her/his employee when she/he can have an easy-to-control sheep instead?
Bosses don't like who look differently and tell the truth in job interviews because that means that they think for themselves and won't agree with all is said.
That's just my opinion, of course.
Soil, I didn't say that tattoos are disgusting for me: body piercing is. :-] Looks painful.
Tattoo = filthy. Dirty. TO ME.
This is what I think when I see one: of course everyone is free to write anything on his skin or put a ring across his eyebrow (or scrotum) - and I'd love to be free to think what I think about it.
Also, about job interviews (and in general): I just think it's easier to go unnoticed if you look like a plain, square guy - and maybe you're a complete utter nutcase.
Like myself for instance. :-]
Why spelling it out loud?
Zenrider21 February 2011 at 4:31amPosts: 3545 (0 today)Status: offline
Guess I'll throw my two cents in for what it's worth.
I think it's like Jen says, more a regional or perhaps certain careers, society levels, etc. don't accept it or at the very least, prefer you keep it to your off time.
I have no piercings, not even earrings, which some find odd. Part of the earring mystery is as simple as no one ever bought me any and they really weren't something I felt I needed to buy. Oddly, I always thought I'd get a tattoo, that was before everyone and their grandmother (my aunt counts as one of them) got one or more. Friend of mine has an incredible multiple dragon scene on her back, cliffs, waterfalls and everything. It really is art. As for me, who knows? I do worry a bit that I'll end up with a bad one, but still have considered getting one or so, but haven't decided on one that I would want on my body for the rest of my life. Not to mention what it would look like as I age.
I don't wear jewelry on a regular basis, but do on occasion. Some almost, OK not really almost, superstitiously for certain occasions.
Not sure about the piercing everything and anything else thing. Certainly not for me, but I've met some very nice, sweet people (not that's the image they are going for, but people can't help but be what they are) that have them and fits their lifestyle. Met some confused people that have them out of desperation of trying to fit in somewhere.
Heck, when I was a teenager, that's when people started multiple piercings, the eighties weren't nearly as boring as some of you think, though perhaps some of us were. The most obvious were their ears but others found other places, or so I've heard. Noses not so much until the mid/late 90's? as they are harder to hide. One of my high school friends went to Great America (amusement park) back then and had an experience. She met a woman in line with a big safety pin through the upper part of her boob. My friend commented to her, 'that must have hurt.' the woman said, 'That's why I did it.' Well, alrighty then. Let's face it, it's been around since the 80's in the USA, perhaps even sooner, definitely sooner for certain cultures, but I believe we are talking general mainstream western culture here. Just not so open about it as the present. In that, I think we've gotten more accepting in the USA overall, even if some of us wonder why? After all fashion is fashion, even if you think you are rebelling against fashion. Something tells me the rest of Europe is not too different as the states.
My job doesn't allow the guys to do some/most of this stuff, or women either though earrings are allowed. There are a few that do push the limits to the dress code. As for one of the guys, not piercings so much, aside from earrings and jewelry. Think Mr. T starter kit as I have teased him. I think management is afraid him anyway, but he does have Baddest N****r tattooed on his chest. :-] The funny thing, he's really a sweetheart. He had been in a gang in his youth, spent one night in jail and decided that was one place he never wanted to go back to. I've joked with him that I'm taking him to my next High School reunion as my date. :-] Otherwise their are a couple of other guys that push the big lobe ones as far as they, but perhaps not as far as they want. Can only imagine other piercings they may have. :-]
All in all, for me, I find some of the stranger body piercings more of a turn off then most tattoos, much as they do it trying for an image of toughness/individuality. I can't help but find a certain amount of insecurity and wanting to conform somewhere in it all as well. Others may feel differently, and may be correct, so all is good in the world I'm sure. Me, I'm mostly boring, maybe just cheap when it comes to these things, so likely wrong in it all anyway.
Wow, this ended up longer then I intended and normally I'd delete it right now, but what the heck. :-]
Progressive jen22 February 2011 at 5:11amPosts: 5472 (0 today)Status: offline
Safety pin in the breast?
Progressive jen22 February 2011 at 5:12amPosts: 5472 (0 today)Status: offline
This girl I used to work with had 4 piercings in the back of her neck and multiple tattoos.
She said the pain gave an almost sexual type satisfaction - I will just have to take her word for it :-]
T-DOGG22 February 2011 at 5:29amPosts: 2359 (0 today)Status: offline
I'm not against tats or body piercings,
I just wish they'd pull their pants up.
Progressive jen22 February 2011 at 6:30amPosts: 5472 (0 today)Status: offline