8thPlanet16 January 2008 at 9:17pmPosts: 693 (0 today)Status: offline
From an e-mail I got today.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
The best computer is a man, and it's the only one that can be mass produced by unskilled labor.
Akasha2716 January 2008 at 9:20pmPosts: 34 (0 today)Status: offline
on the first day god made man, on the second she corrected her mistakes :-] hi hun
phensman16 January 2008 at 9:33pmPosts: 1841 (0 today)Status: offline
"I'd just like to say to the old man who was wearing camouflage gear and using crutches, who stole my wallet earlier - you can hide, but you can't run."
"I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'?"
"Where there's a will, there's a relative."
"A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we're not going to get much done.'?"
"The film industry is like Anne Robinson - always on the lookout for a new face."
"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
KittyLugnut16 January 2008 at 9:58pmPosts: 44 (0 today)Status: offline
"Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses."
ahh. . . so, so true.
alman16 January 2008 at 11:38pmPosts: 36 (0 today)Status: offline
Life is like a box of choclolats.lol
Synnie16 January 2008 at 11:48pmPosts: 4169 (0 today)Status: offline
Around festivities these chocolates sometimes heat up for covering cakes. . . :-]
Nickelberrynsc18 January 2008 at 6:54amPosts: 49 (0 today)Status: offline
The early bird may get the worm, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.
. . . and my personal favorite,
Goldfish don't bounce.
Randomized18 January 2008 at 9:09amPosts: 96 (0 today)Status: offline
''Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.''
''I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.''
''I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.''
Now these are quotes :-] :-]
alman18 January 2008 at 9:10amPosts: 36 (0 today)Status: offline
the infamous what goes around comes around
clothy18 January 2008 at 3:11pmPosts: 2482 (0 today)Status: offline
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes
phensman18 January 2008 at 3:31pmPosts: 1841 (0 today)Status: offline
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Money won't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot".
T-DOGG18 January 2008 at 5:02pmPosts: 2359 (0 today)Status: offline
It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk,
if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface was a
Smith & Wesson.
A fool and his money,
can throw one hell of a party.
When blondes have more fun,
do they know it?
Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES,
USE BIRTH CONTROL!
Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
Don't Drink and Drive,
You might hit a bump and spill something.
If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
Reality is only an illusion,
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
Time's fun when you're having flies
. .Kermit the Frog
We are born naked, wet and hungry,
Then things get worse from there.
Red meat is not bad for you,
fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers,
give the rest a bad name.
One good thing about Alzheimer's,
is you get to meet new people every day.
Friends don't let friends,
take ugly people home.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge,
to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH
FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
using both hands
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population
(in case you slept through thr NEW MOTTOS thread)
Akasha2718 January 2008 at 9:37pmPosts: 34 (0 today)Status: offline