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Forums » Peter Gabriel » Said the actress to the Bishop

K'Ehleyr 1 January 2008 at 11:13pm Posts: 8422 (0 today) Status: offline
for your amusement: http://www.astheactresssaidtothebishop.com/ As the actress said to the bishop Here's an ever growing collection of quotes that have inevitably resulted in very childish and often side-splitting bouts of laughter. Quoters names deliberately withheld - you know who you are. This latest selection (added on 15th October, 2007) are apparently real double entendres from British TV and radio * Michael Burke on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts." * Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself." * Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." * Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now." * Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night." * 'Winning Post's' Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees." * Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg." * Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off." * Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this." * James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?" * Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69." * The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection." * Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions." * Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it." * A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! * US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god! What have I just said?!" * Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." * Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew." * Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." * New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him." * Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
Zenrider 2 January 2008 at 1:23am Posts: 3547 (0 today) Status: offline
:-] :-] Don't you love when you say something and think, "I didn't just say that did I?" These poor people got to do that on tape/video. LOL
phensman 2 January 2008 at 8:23am Posts: 1841 (0 today) Status: offline
Great stuff Ezri, thanks. :-] This is worth a view too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlPvda9SS80
Synnie 2 January 2008 at 11:43am Posts: 4169 (0 today) Status: offline
Hilarious, indeed! Zenrider, I also managed to have certain alike experiences, often around some friends, who managed to be very polite and call it "refreshing", while they shook themselves in laughter, by which I realised and could hardly stop laughing myself. This also happened on several forums, but some felt offended and then started fighting, which only made it more hilarious. I love the mistakes, we make. :-] :-]
Pete the Mad Scienti 3 January 2008 at 2:04pm Posts: 7 (0 today) Status: offline
The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey.
8thPlanet 3 January 2008 at 4:15pm Posts: 693 (0 today) Status: offline
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvTJxMPzJlo&NR=1
Pete the Mad Scienti 9 January 2008 at 11:55am Posts: 7 (0 today) Status: offline
Kenneth Williams once said, "I can't stand double entendres. Whenever I see one in a script, I whip it out immediately." I think that's a bit rich coming from a man who couldn't even get up in the morning without making an innuendo.

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