rraven5 June 2011 at 1:56amPosts: 3102 (0 today)Status: offline
I'm really really REALLY hoping this turns out to be a joke:
"One of the club's founders Maznah Taufik â€“ who also set up the Polygamy Club two years ago â€“ said much marital discord was the result of disobedient wives failing to bring joy to their husbands.
"Domestic abuse happens because wives don't obey their husband's orders," said Mrs Maznah. "A man must be responsible for his wife's wellbeing, but she must listen to her husband." She also said the group would stress that wives had to provide husbands with a fulfilling sex life to prevent them straying to prostitutes."
As a former domestic abuse survivor I can testify that obedience had NOTHING to do with how often I got punched, slapped, half-strangled and beaten with treee branches or whatever object was close by.
It's shit like this that makes me completely ashamed to be a human being.
Big Time ideas5 June 2011 at 5:32amPosts: 1925 (0 today)Status: offline
There are Christian churches that teach the same type of thing.My husband is an alcholic and was taught by his alcholic dad that men are king of the castle.I've been called stubborn because I don't agree.I've been hurt physically before,but his favorite trick is to leave(I have 5 kids and a grandson here)and try to "starve me out" I call it,so I'll stop trying to have an opinion.Since I haven't wanted to put my kids in daycare,I usually have to let him back in.But this time,my youngest starts 1st grade next year.I still haven't let him back in.He is completely freaking out.
rraven5 June 2011 at 5:20pmPosts: 3102 (0 today)Status: offline
Yes, that's true that other religions besides Islam advocate total obedience from women. It's one of the reasons many people - men, women and hermaphrodites - become atheist/agnostic.
But as to your situation, holy shit. I'm sorry to hear it. I wish I knew what to say to make things better. My abuser was also an alcoholic. I kept thinking things would change - they never did. When he beat my 4 month old puppy for peeing on the floor, that's when the penny dropped. I took the puppy and left.
Are you American? There is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Your local police and perhaps your doctor may be able to find you, you children and possibly your pets a halfway house or shelter so the lot of you can move away from your abuser.
I was homeless in the UK, so the local homeless shelter in Bath, Julian House, managed to get me and my dog some help. I do have to note that my make-shift home in the woods outside of Bath was burnt down. Luckily, my Mom took me and my dog in.
I'm American and my Mom lives in America. So my dog and I had to leave an entire continent in order to leave my abuser's reach. I'm not saying you have to, but there are always options.
Big Time ideas5 June 2011 at 7:23pmPosts: 1925 (0 today)Status: offline
Thank you,your sweet.I'm from Idy-ho(Idaho).I've been dealing with this for twenty years,so mentally I'm coming out the other side of the tunnel.He used to be on Meth,so acctually the alchohol is almost an improvement.The last time he hurt me physically I theatenened to call the police,plus I hurt him back;that freaked him out more than anything.His dad was a drunk jack-ass.There was some physical abuse but mainly his dad would mess with you mentally.My husbands acctually a sweet person when he's not on crap.This spring I was worriedmabout my 18 yr. old daughter-I knew she was on something.I tried to get him to help me and he told me I was nosey and he didn't think she was on anything.Wrong answer.I told him to get out.Turns out she was on cocaine.I let her know she wasn't fooling me anymore-she lost her job and finally asked for help.It's been 4 months;this time I've been blowing him off.He wants to come back in here and he's freaking out.
Big Time ideas5 June 2011 at 7:24pmPosts: 1925 (0 today)Status: offline
I need to make paragraphs.Hope you can read that
Big Time ideas5 June 2011 at 7:29pmPosts: 1925 (0 today)Status: offline
One important thing I have realized is to keep my sense of humour.
rraven6 June 2011 at 12:39amPosts: 3102 (0 today)Status: offline
Oh, my. I'm afraid I'm not a therapist or lawyer so I really do not know how to advise you. I do humbly recommend that you have nothing to do with this man and his family ever again. That way you'll be really free of him.
Um, I've had a bit of a flashback just now and so I don't think I can continue this thread. I'm not trying to blow you off - I just really do not know what else to type.
Big Time ideas6 June 2011 at 12:57amPosts: 1925 (0 today)Status: offline
Sorry, didn't mean to give you flashbacks.His dad is dead,I won't speak to his mother or brother.His little brother is a sweetheart.The last time I let him in,I made him take anger management classes first-it helped.This time he's crying and saying he knows he's an alchholic-O.K. then buddy,drug and alchohol classes this time.Your not a victim Rraven.Remember,he did what he did to you because he's weak,and he's scared of YOU.